Everything Sucks, Now What? A Merriment Method for a Messy World.

I started to tell you a story about a magical root beer. And then I realized how much it was really a story about innocence.

 

So then I got into what we're really missing when we're grieving our innocence and how to get it back!

What if the fastest way through anxiety isn't fighting it... but accepting that it's already here?

In this episode, I explore one of the most practical mindset shifts I've ever learned: the simple phrase "Yes, thank you". Inspired by comedian Pete Holmes, this practice isn't about pretending difficult things are good. It's about stopping the exhausting argument with reality long enough to decide what to do next.

We talk about why advice like "don't judge your thoughts" can feel completely useless without something tangible to replace it, why anticipation is often more painful than the outcome itself, and how acceptance can calm even the loudest spiral.

Along the way, I share stories about waiting to find out whether I had a brain tumor, bad trips, car accidents, trauma, learning to cook, and the surprising difference between pain we participate in and pain that's forced upon us.

This isn't an episode about toxic positivity or pretending everything happens for a reason. It's about recognizing that once the metaphorical pill is already in your bloodstream, panic doesn't remove it. Acceptance doesn't mean approval. It means saying:

"Okay. We're here now."

From that place, you can make a plan, take action, learn something, or simply survive the moment without letting anxiety drive the car.

If you've ever found yourself trapped in rumination, overwhelmed by uncertainty, or wishing reality would negotiate with you, this episode is for you.

💛 In this episode, we cover:

• Why "don't judge your thoughts" often isn't enough
• The "Yes, thank you" practice from Pete Holmes
• Acceptance vs. approval
• Why anxiety feeds on resisting reality
• The psychology of anticipation and uncertainty
• How to find perspective in overwhelming moments
• Practical ways to respond when life doesn't go according to plan

Get more free mental health + feel good resources at ⁠Uncustomary.org⁠

I took a break from everything, made a big decision, and then life changed very quickly.

In this episode I’m extremely honest about my life in the past few months including break ups, living with an ex, getting back together with my high school sweetheart, job changes, living arrangements, family health, endometriosis pain... and where I imagine Merriment Making going from here.

No edits and a long ramble on my friend’s couch sitting next to a cat. Enjoy and welcome back to the Everything Sucks, Now What? podcast.

PS - For more details on getting back together with my high school love, ⁠⁠read here⁠⁠.

Everyone wants to know if people can change.

But that’s not actually the question.

The real question is: am I stuck like this? …and if I am, whose fault is it?

In this episode, we’re pulling that entire thread until the sweater unravels like a Weezer song.

We’re talking about:

• 🩷 why personality is both stable and changeable (yes, both… stay with me)
• 🩷 how trauma, shame, and environment edit you over time
• 🩷 why a lot of what we call “growth” is actually just really cutely decorated armor
• 🩷 the difference between becoming someone new and remembering who you were before the world got loud
• 🩷 why wanting to change means absolutely nothing (scientifically, unfortunately)
• 🩷 + what it actually takes to come back to yourself without romanticizing the process

We're not doing a "just be yourself" pep talk...

This is more like a “you might have buried yourself alive and called it maturity” conversation.

With love.... (+ receipts).

Bonus pack to accompany the episode inside ⁠Strange + Functional⁠.

What happens when life looks good on the outside, but something still feels heavy... and you can't quite explain why?

This week, I'm sitting down with Kendall, author, social worker, mom of two, and the creator of Cloudy Day Chronicles: a blog, Substack, and now a children's book built around one of the gentlest, most honest mental health metaphors I've ever encountered: the cloud that follows you.

We met the way most great things happen; completely by accident, at Artscape, because a three-year-old lost her mind over a rainbow. And I've been grateful ever since.

In this conversation, Kendall gets deeply real about what it actually feels like to live with high-functioning depression. The kind where you show up, hold it together, and still feel shaded even when you know the sun is there. We talk about postpartum depression, ADHD, disordered eating, autoimmune illness, body image, and what it means to build a shared language around feelings that are hard to name.

We also dig into:

• 🌥️ Why Kendall's cloud metaphor started as a wave in therapy (and why she had to change it)
• 🌥️ What "high-functioning depression" actually looks like from the inside
• 🌥️ The people-pleasing spiral and how to show up for others without abandoning yourself
• 🌥️ Why she wrote a children's book about a mom's mental health ; and what traditional publishers said about it
• 🌥️ The Pay It Forward program she built around her book to reach families who need it most
• 🌥️ What her daughter Alma taught her about clouds that no therapist ever did

This one made me cry. In the best way.

📖 Get the book & find all of Kendall's resources at cloudydaychronicles.org 📸 Follow her everywhere @CloudyDayChronicles

You're tracking your spending. You're watching your account. But there's another currency you're hemorrhaging every single day ... and nobody taught you how to budget it.

Your attention.

In this episode, we get into why doomscrolling isn't just a bad habit... it's actually making you poor. We talk about the real cost of cynicism, why money is just a personality amplifier (scary thought, right?), and the uncomfortable truth about why getting resourced is one of the most generous things you can do.

Plus: the courtroom case for why money is not the root of all evil, where you're leaving potential on the table that has nothing to do with finances, and how to start spending your mental currency on purpose.

Your attention compounds. The question is what you're growing with it.

Bonus pack for Positive Pulse members includes a mental money audit, 3-day doomscroll reset challenge, and a rewiring script.

You Don't Actually Want Money. (Sorry. Kind of.)

Yeah, we're going there.

This episode is going to annoy you a little .. fair warning. Because we're not talking about how to make more money. We're talking about why you even want it in the first place. And the answer is probably not what you think.

Spoiler: it's not money. It's almost never actually money.

We do a whole thought experiment about a stand-up comedian that will make you question every financial goal you've ever had. We talk about why entrepreneurs lie to themselves (lovingly). We drag the "do what you love" quote out back and examine it in broad daylight. And we get into the deeply uncomfortable truth that some of your money beliefs were handed to you by a parent, a commercial, or some guy's dad .. and you've just been carrying them around ever since like they're facts.

We cover:

• What you actually want when you say you want money (hint: it's on a list and it includes "revenge")
• Why making your passion pay you can slowly ruin it
• The difference between wanting money and wanting choice (not the same!!)
• How to stop outsourcing your worth to your salary
• Rewiring the money stories that were never even yours to begin with

This one's part therapy, part philosophy, part "wait have I just been chasing a symbol this whole time??"

The answer might be yes. But the substance? Closer than you think.

Next time we're talking about The Financial Thermostat a.k.a. why you sabotage yourself right when things start going well. Fun stuff!!

Are some people just lucky... or are they paying attention in ways the rest of us aren't?

I've been thinking about this for a while ... and I noticed something. The "lucky" people in my life aren't just stumbling into good things. They're doing something different. I call it conscious luck.

In this one, I break down 8 ways to actually become a lucky person. Not through "wishful thinking", but through attention, behavior, and a willingness to get out of your own way. (Also featuring a suspicious number of raffle wins.)

You'll walk away thinking differently about gratitude, bold action, self-sabotage, and what it even means to "catch a break."

If that sounds like your kind of rabbit hole ... come on in.

Radical responsibility is often explained in a way that sounds like blame. Like every painful thing that has ever happened to you must somehow be your fault in order for you to reclaim your power.

That interpretation does not feel safe. And for many of us, it does not feel true.

In this episode, we untangle that misunderstanding and offer a more compassionate, agency-centered perspective. One that allows you to acknowledge real harm, trauma, and unfairness while still reclaiming your ability to shape what happens next.

We explore:

• Why radical responsibility is about agency, not blame
• How to hold “this hurt me” and “I still have power” at the same time
• What it actually means to be “delusional on purpose” when shifting beliefs
• How aligning your actions with your desired identity reduces inner conflict
• A more nuanced version of gratitude that allows you to want more without guilt
• Why focusing your impact on one lane creates deeper change in the world

If you have ever rejected personal development language because it felt invalidating to your lived experiences, this episode offers a reframing that honors both truth and growth.

You were not responsible for the crash. But you still get to decide what happens after.

Inside Positive Pulse, you’ll find companion affirmations, prompts, and integration practices to help you reclaim agency without denying your trauma.

And reminder that the price is increasing on March 1st, so lock in the 89 cents now!

Uncustomary.org/PP

You have to feel good to do good.

A furious essay kicked off this episode. It was moving, blistering, and full of big claims about patriarchy, biology, “the secondary sex,” and how fast humans have managed to speedrun catastrophe once domination became the operating system.

So I’m doing something specific here. I’m honoring the rage. I’m keeping what’s accurate and important. And I’m gently but firmly correcting what’s exaggerated or scientifically shaky, because if we want real cultural change, precision is power.

In this long-form episode, I introduce a simple framework that changes how you hear the whole conversation:

Patriarchy is a ladder. Matriarchal logic is a circle.
Not men vs women. Not flipping the hierarchy and calling it healing. Systems. Architecture. Power flow. Care. Accountability.

We walk through:

• what the essay gets right (and why that matters)

• where it overreaches (and how to critique without gender essentialism)

• how patriarchy actually emerged historically (surplus, inheritance, early states, organized violence)

• what matrilineal and matrifocal societies really look like

• why Nordic countries often feel “more circle” inside modern institutions

• the micro level: how to build circles in your home, friendships, and community

• the macro level: what to advocate for in the U.S. if you want care-centered outcomes

• language that builds bridges instead of creating more division

• what men can unlearn, what women can unlearn, and what a realistic hybrid system looks like

This is Merriment Making work because merriment isn’t fluff. Joy is a systems outcome. Nervous systems don’t open under domination. They open under care.

Bonuses in Positive Pulse:
I dropped a companion bundle inside Positive Pulse to help you integrate the episode, including reflection questions, a “One Circle” 7-day micro challenge, language upgrades (copy/paste phrases), key takeaways, Merriment Maker affirmations, and shareable pull quotes.

Uncustomary.org/PP

You have to feel good to do good.